Trust

Trust

It’s hard to trust someone or the system when you’ve built up walls for so many years. I’m learning though. In order to get to my next goal I have to put my trust in someone else for the next 8 weeks. Luckily she’s an incredible person. Little by little I’m learning to conquer this. I know I can do it. 

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Out of your box

I decided that I’m going to do a fitness competition before my spine surgery on December 5th. I’m so excited but I’m also so scared. It’s a goal that I’ve always wanted to do but I’ve never had the opportunity before now. They say you don’t grow unless you push yourself out of your comfort zone so that’s what I’m doing. I’m so uncomfortable. I better grow real fucking big 😂😂😂…  yesterday I tried a 45 minute HIT cardio workout for the first time. I smashed the shit out of it. It consisted of a lot of running, jump lunges and walking .I didn’t think I’d be able to do it because my body hurts so bad haha I did it. It’s amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it. This morning when I got up my everything hurts but that’s nothing new to me it’s like that everyday it just hurts a little more today. 

Things that have been the toughest so far are sticking to the meal plan exactly and drinking that damn gallon of water everyday. You wouldn’t think drinking water would be so hard but it is. OMG I’m walking around in heels for the posing that just straight up sucks. So awkward I really think that men need to walk around in those heels. 

I didn’t realize how many people are watching me .How many people I inspire. I really just want to show my daughter that you can do anything you just have to believe.

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Walking

When you’re in pain something so simple as taking a walk with the dogs is such a big decision. I woke up this morning and my everything hurts. I know lately I’ve been overdoing it I always overdo it. As I sit here drinking my morning coffee I’m debating whether or not to go back to bed or go for the walk. At 40 years old I shouldn’t have to get out of bed every morning and hurt so bad.